Passion & Possibility

So...When did you know?  Whenever I meet someone for the 1st time & I tell them that I'm a pastor.  Then, I always get the comments about my age or being young...As a young adult in ministry, it's easy to feel like the only one...Although I had some younger pastors growing up, I never thought it was possible to be young & be a pastor.  I think that's part of the reason that I wanted to be a youth director & not a pastor.

Enter a helpful associate pastor & an invitation to Exploration 2000...Exploration is a United Methodist discernment event for young people to hear their call into ordained ministry in the United Methodist Church.

I went to Exploration 2000 in Dallas, TX...I pretty much knew what my call was, but I wasn't sure that I could actually answer it yet...I honestly don't know how I got to Exploration-- I remember it being my 2nd plane ride ever and going with a former pastor of mine...And I'm not sure that I totally remember any of the speakers from the event...Although I looked at a list recently & they were really good-- people that I read now and think are amazing!

What I remember was looking around the room & not feeling alone...I remember sitting in my small group and not feeling crazy...I remember being a part of worship & feeling the presence of God in new ways...I remember talking to people at the seminary tables & feeling slightly overwhelmed, but very excited... I remember leaving thinking that I actually could answer the call that God had whispered.

As Exploration 2011 nears and young people are registering & speakers are preparing & the design team is working hard, my prayers & thoughts join with all who are blogging & praying today (and everyday of course!) for the event...I continue to pray for those who are hearing the whisper of God & think they're too young or they might be a little crazy or they feel alone.  Trust me, you're not.  If you need to have a large confirmation of that, attend Exploration.

Study of Ministry Commission: Recommendation #2

If you haven't found the full Study of Ministry Report, I really suggest that you read it...I'm blogging through the recommendations this week with my thoughts, but as always, I'm open to hearing what others think!  I don't think I have all the answers and would love to hear others' thoughts!

Recommendation #2  A Conference Vocational Discernment Coordinator

" We recommend that there be a conference-wide vocational discernment
coordinator responsible for making the candidacy process inviting and accessible, strengthening
the candidacy mentoring program, and giving guidance and training to candidacy mentors. This
person will be a member of the annual conference Board of Ordained Ministry, will work closely
with the cabinet and the Board’s executive committee to assign mentors, and will attend training
coordinated by the GBHEM. Additionally, we propose a shift from individual candidacy
mentoring to mentoring in groups (whenever possible). Mentors must be thoroughly trained to
implement the processes that lead to licensing and ordination, and gifted in facilitating groups."


So this is another one that in theory, I think is a wonderful idea.  Marvelous even!  To have someone who is dedicated to the mentoring process would be amazing!  But of course, I have some doubts...

Let me be up front to say that I did not have a good go with the mentoring process.  Oh, I had some good mentors (and then there was the one who asked why were meeting all the time...And the one who asked why we got assigned together because they weren't going to be helpful for me)...But the process itself was pretty horrible.  Prior to commissioning, I had 3 mentors (and it took almost a year to get a new one assigned when I needed one) & prior to ordination, I had 3 mentors... I was jealous of my friends & colleagues who developed deep & trusting relationships with their mentors (and grateful when I heard horror stories)...Again, I don't want to dismiss those who had been assigned as my mentors-- I had some stellar ones and there are 2 in particular that I don't think I could have made it through the process without them...Seriously.  But...Should things like this really happen?

Part of the problem, as I've experienced it, is that there are only so many good mentors to go around...One of  my mentors had 3 other candidates assigned...The group process is one way of dealing with this problem, but that depends on developing a trusting relationship with all members...That's just not going to happen overnight.    ...And if there is a constant turnover (again my experience & hopefully not the norm)...Is this the most helpful way to deal with mentoring?  And what is the goal of mentoring?  Is it to get through the process of ordination (which will come up later in the report!) or is it to prepare/equip for ministry...Because again, the best 2 mentors that I had did both with ease, but the others did one or the other... What is mentoring?

Which brings back to the Vocational Discernment Coordinator....And I think the title is throwing me a tad...Because if you are in the ordination process, to a certain degree you've discerned your vocation.  Yes, vocational discernment is a fluid process and the process is meant to be a discernment process...But the way that it is treated in most places is not a discernment process, but a test.  So is the Vocational Discernment Coordinator fighting a losing battle?

And if the Vocational Discernment Coordinator is responsible primarily for coordinating mentors/mentoring process...Is it realistic to believe that this will be a paid position?  Do any conferences have a staff person doing this currently?  Because to truly oversee the mentoring process and make sure qualified people don't slip through simply because of poor mentoring could be a big job....And yet, I'm not convinced that it's a full time job.  But I am convinced that someone needs to be passionate about this and feel called to it (and be good at it!)...And at the same time because I do think that there is a bigness to this job, I'm not sure it should be someone in full time appointment...I know that there are times when I am so focused on the local church that I am not able to focus on everything related to the conference or general church, no matter how passionate I am.

Is there a way to make this a part time/quarter time appointment?  Maybe a deacon?  Maybe a lay person?  Can we put the funding behind this to make it happen?  (Similar question from yesterday)  Because yes, it would be amazing to have a Vocational Discernment Coordinator.

Perhaps moving it from solely being connected with the candidacy process & if guaranteed appointments are no longer (also coming later...), perhaps the Vocational Discernment Coordinator can be helpful in missional appointments and connecting the best people with the best places or helping someone transition out of pastoral ministry/ordained ministry.  Perhaps this could turn into a full time position....Although guaranteed appointments is a whole other conversation...

Listen...

It astounds me how two groups of people can hear the same message and respond in two completely different and almost opposite ways. I don't understand communication for this reason...seriously...What makes one person hear and act and another, well not?

Is it the fault of the communicator? I mean if the communicator conveys the same message, and the receiver understands differently? I get that the medium is the message and the messenger reflects that, so maybe it is the communicator...

But every audience brings their own bias to the conversation and recieves that which they are capable of receiving. So, the same message will be heard by differently by two different people and will absolutely be heard differently by two different groups of people.

I've been discerning something for quite some time now and I have heard the answer loud and clear for awhile now, but I really didn't want to listen...I thought that it had to be wrong because it's not the expected answer. But it is indeed and that was made even louder and clearer this week. The trick is now that I have discerned the answer and have decided in my head & heart that this is what needs to be done...Now I have to practice it that way. So, I'll be putting that plan together in the next week...I'm looking forward to it-- the challenge and the possibility! I wish that I had been this clear when I had to write my paper for the Missional Church class...It would have made it a bajillion times easier. But, I suppose that was part of the discernment process for me.

So, it also appears that the same message can be given to the same person and be heard differently...I'm just saying...

Florence!

Ah, Florence...It's so amazing to be in these places. Especially to be in these places once again! I can't even begin to tell you how amazed and awed I am by everything aroudn me. The churches/basilicas are just astounding. The people are so friendly, but yet so empty. The streets are filled with activity late into the night! It is just breath-taking!

I asked God for a soild sign tonight if I'm really being called here...I think that I received it, but I suppose I'm still fighting. There are so many implications with what that means and I really can't deal with them right now. I'm also not really sure if I heard it right or maybe I'm still putting to much of myself into the decision. God has put all the right people behind me, but yet I am still doubting. Why am I doubting? As I told someone tonight, I have a whole list of reasons why I shouldn't be here. But, there is one haunting me that this is the right place.... Please continue to keep me in your prayers as I still discern this voice.

God bless!