Relationship.

I didn't go on vacation as soon as I should have.  I wasn't to the point of exhaustion or burnout...But I could feel the beginning signs...Not enough to freak out over, but enough to know that I waited far too long.  I'll work on fixing that & plan out another couple weeks of vacation before July (since my covenant group is coming in June, that's 1 down!)

I was reflecting on my vacation in California this time...I love coming out here.  I love seeing friends, and spending time with family, & experiencing things I can't experience in Illinois.  I wouldn't come out here randomly...I'm so glad to be able to spend time with the Fegan family.  I know how much family means to them and how hard it is to not be in the same state or a car trip away...As important as it is for them that I visit, it's just as important for me.  This family has loved and supported me in fabulous ways throughout my life...Whether it was being hired to babysit (or watch the kids shopping!) or helping me find a job when I didn't know what else to do or letting me do laundry & have a home cooked meal while in seminary or giving using some of their days off to pick me up from the airport or show me the sights of Southern California...Not to mention the prayers, attendance at important events, and all of the invisible support!  I love this family!  (and I'm not just saying that because I stay at their house!)

I was reflecting on my past trips out here...This is my 3rd time in the last 3 years and each year has brought a different set of needs.  In fact, I think I can summarize each trip into a word...

The first year: Escape...This was one year that I waited entirely too long for a vacation...Entirely.  Even though I didn't know it (or I didn't want to admit it), I was exhausted...I was looking for a chance to escape.  Escape to a far away land and not think about life in the church or deal with anything...Unfortunately, that escape was not as much as I had hoped and I answered the phone way too much...But I do think I achieved some sense of escape....I remember staring wistfully out at the ocean on a pier one afternoon and just escaping completely into God's presence.  I know that there were tons of people around, but I didn't care.  I think it was there that I fully embraced my need for water & the ocean to fill my soul.  (it's also what sparked my need to head into Navy Pier every once in awhile...I know that Lake Michigan is not an ocean, but the sound of water always transports me.)

The second year: Entertainment...I knew I was moving when I came here last year...I was in a very different frame of mind...I was thinking of transition more than anything else and opportunities to dream...I think in a lot of ways I was still recovering from the burnout that I teetered on the last year...I spent much of my time here being entertained-- I saw more tapings than I thought I could!  (Ellen, Craig Ferguson, Chelsea Lately)...I spent time seeing the sights and was really on the go every time...I loved it...I loved being busy and I loved being entertained.  It was exactly what I needed! 

This year: Relationships...I don't need to escape...I don't need to be entertained (well, I always need to be entertained, but not in the same way)...And I have great relationships, but my theme for this year was relationship.  I had absolutely no agenda coming out here...No shows to see, no particular sights to see...Nothing.  I let the relationships dictate.  And my goodness did they...Whether it was wandering through stores, walking on the beach or having meals together...I was constantly surprised by the people I spent time with.  Even if we said nothing to each other or we spent the whole time laughing...Sometimes I was even surprised by the people that I spent time with! 

How is it with my soul?  It is well.  I am coming home with new dreams having been dreamt and new dreams to dream.  I am coming home have been filled with a different sense of community, having been challenged, and having been comforted.  How is it with my soul?  Yes.e