Just Get Over It

I've been sick for the past month...It's gross...And annoying...And frustrating...And I just want to be over it.  I haven't been sick in quite awhile, so this is really the first time since I've moved here that I've been sick...that makes it almost 2 years.  (the last cold I had was the winter before I moved & just before I had surgery).  So, maybe I've just been building up to it and saving it for awhile?

Whatever happened...I just want this to be done.  I've been on antibiotics & other reactionary medications and I'm better...but not great.

Here's the other thing that's been happening.  I know what I'm supposed to be doing.  But I'm not. I know the advice that I'm supposed to be following, but I'm not.  I've adopted a "fake it till you make it" attitude...and I'm not so sure that's helpful when dealing with physical health issues.

I know that I should be getting more rest...But, it's the Advent season & there's way tons going on to prepare for & celebrate Christmas...So, I'm having a hard time slowing down.  And then when I do, I have to miss out on super fun things...(Why can't I miss meetings instead of parties?  boo...).

My workout schedule has been adjusted mostly because I just can't physically take it...Which then makes me angry & frustrated...and I often times push myself harder because I should just be better.  And I'm not...And pushing myself harder isn't helpful, it's actually helping to keep me sick longer.

So, I know all these things, right?  And I've told people these things, right?  But what am I doing? The same exact thing.

So maybe that wasn't so much of a rant as it was a whine...I'm just whining here folks, no big deal...

But it reminds me of Paul's letter to the Romans 7:15-20...

^"15I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. ¹⁸For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. ¹⁹For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me." (NRSV)


Have you ever acted this way before?  You what you are supposed to & not supposed to do, but you do whatever you know not to do anyway?  It's comforting to me to read parts of Scripture where people screw up or remind me that I don't have to be perfect (just working on it).  There are some things where there are no magic cures or pills to take, but it takes work, determination, and yes, sometimes even rest.

How are you taking time to listen during this busy season?  Or do you find yourself just pushing yourself to get over it/get through it?  Where is God in your journey?